Helping Children Cope with Pet Loss

For a downloadable resource on helping kids grieve the loss of a pet, click here: HelpingChildrenCopeFactSheet

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Do We Always Recommend Euthanasia?

 

MN Pets MaxYour pet is a beloved member of your family; he or she shares your home, your daily routine, and maybe even your bed. As our pets age or become ill, it can be difficult to assess their quality of life and to know when it is time to say goodbye. Deciding to euthanize a cherished pet is never easy, and when you only make the decision a few times in your life (if you’re lucky) it can be hard to keep a sense of objectivity about knowing if and when the time is right.

At MN Pets, we take very seriously our role in helping you objectively think about what is best for your family, for your pet, and for you. The veterinarians and counselors in our practice see many pets and hear many stories about when the end of life is near. We take the time to listen to your unique story about what has been going on with your pet, and we talk about what it all means and what your options are.

Sometimes, at the end of our conversation, it becomes clear that euthanasia is not the right choice at that time. It may not be far off, but the decision doesn’t feel right just then, and that’s perfectly ok. For these pets, one option is to enroll in our Comfort Care program. Our Comfort Care team can come to your home to evaluate your pet’s condition and help you develop a plan to help your pet enjoy the best quality of life possible as he or she deals with chronic conditions. Our focus isn’t on invasive diagnostic testing or aggressive medical care, but rather on helping your pet experience comfort and relief of symptoms that may reduce their quality of life. We keep in close contact with you and schedule regular check-ins to manage your pet’s condition as he or she ages.

Other pets that are aging or facing a serious medical condition may already be experiencing a severe decline in their quality of life. For these pets, the decision to euthanize may be appropriate, but it can be difficult to know when the time is right. Sometimes it is helpful to be able to talk through the decision and your unique situation with a veterinarian face to face. During a quality of life consultation, a veterinarian will visit your home to do just that. Sometimes, these visits conclude with euthanasia, and sometimes the doctor will leave you with valuable tools to monitor your pet’s quality of life in the coming days and weeks.

Finally, sometimes it becomes clear during our conversation that euthanasia is the right choice. You love your pet and know more about him or her than anyone else does. When you decide that the time is right, we will always support you in this painful and difficult decision.

Regardless of your situation, we are here to help you every step of the way. Please don’t hesitate to check in and get an expert’s advice on what seems right in your situation.  The call is free and we’re available every day, including weekends.  You can reach us at (612) 354-8500.

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Children and Pet Loss

The loss of a pet is often a child’s first experience with death and because it is painful, parents often wish to protect them from it.  Not talking about it, however, can make the grief process even more difficult.  Parents need support and reassurance that a decision to include children in the end of life process of a beloved pet can be a rewarding and positive experience.

 

Explaining death
When speaking with children about the death it is extremely helpful to use clear, concrete and simple language.  Avoid using euphemisms like “put down” or “put to sleep” which can leave children with confusion around what it means to rest or sleep.

Children understand when something is wrong even if it is unspoken.  Often a pet is ill for some time before their eventual death, which is a good time to begin the discussion of what is happening to the pet’s body.  This may also be a good time to find a children’s book about pet loss as a way of beginning that conversation.  An extensive bibliography listing several good choices is available at this link.

Once the conversation begins children will have questions.  It is important to answer all the questions that come up as honestly and plainly as you can, even if they are silly, difficult or complicated.  This is also a good time to find a children’s book that can answer some of the specific questions they have about death.  It is also important to be honest when there are things you do not know or cannot be answered.  Death can be a mysterious process for adults and children alike.

Decisions
If you are preparing for a euthanasia appointment it is important to explain the process and then give your child options for how they would like to be involved.  They might decide they would like to be present during the appointment or maybe they would like to be in an adjacent room with a supportive adult and then visit with their pet’s remains after the appointment.  On the other hand, they might only wish to be involved in the memorialization or burial of their pet.

Support your child in a non-judgmental way as they experience their grief.  Ask them about how they are feeling and ask them if they would like to talk about that—actively listen to what they express and mirror back to them what you hear them say using their own words.

Grief process
It is often helpful to children to process their grief in non-verbal ways.  Providing some art materials can be very effective – you may help them identify something important they are expressing and ask them if they would like to make a picture of it.  Creating a scrapbook can also be a helpful project.

Memorialization is another task that could have non-verbal or physical components.  Offer to let them participate in the decision-making process.  Where will Bailey be buried?  What will we do with her ashes? 

There is no defined length of time a grieving process will take.  Children may recall happy and sad memories of their pet well after their pet has died—allow the space necessary for them to express any and all of those memories in an ongoing way.

Taking breaks
Grief can be a strenuous endeavor.  It impacts mind, body, and spirit.  There will be ups and downs related to the exertion of grieving, coupled with a need for distraction.  It is helpful to the grieving process to take breaks, particularly if they involve something fun and especially if they include laughter.

More information
If you have additional questions or concerns about your unique situation, feel free to speak with us.  We have licensed counselors on staff daily, available at 612-354-8500 Mon-Fri, 8:00 AM-6:00 PM and Sat/Sun 8:00 AM-4:00 PM.   There is also an excellent article available on this topic at a favorite website of ours, veterinarywisdom.com.

Click here for a FREE printable version of this article:  Children and Pet Loss

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Hyperthyroid Disease in Cats

As your cat ages, there are many age-related ailments that may develop throughout their later years. Hyperthyroidism, or hyperthyroid disease, is one of the more common glandular disorders for cats in the middle to senior age range. Cats with a hyperthyroid condition may have minimal to no side effects during the early stages of the disease and that is one of the reasons your veterinarian may recommend annual blood work. Some signs of the disease, however, may be noticed at home before any true diagnosis is made. Typically, cats will display one or more of these clinical signs:

  • Weight loss
  • Increased appetite
  • Increased activity and restlessness
  • A matted, greasy or poor hair coat
  • A fast heart rate
  • Increased water consumption; also, increased urination
  • Vomiting
  • Diarrhea

Catching any disease in its earlier stages is always best and will afford you the most options for treatment, and luckily hyperthyroidism in cats is one of the most treatable diseases a cat can have.  There are several options for treatment of hyperthyroidism, including:

  • Oral medication
  • Radioactive I131 treatment
  • Prescription diet
  • Surgery if applicable

Treating hyperthyroid disease is always recommended, because if left untreated long term, your cat can develop all the clinic signs listed above, heart problems, and an over-all feeling of being uncomfortable/feeling ill.  Once your pet reaches middle age, it is important to get routine lab work, including checking their thyroid function. Luckily, hyperthyroidism can usually be managed with medication.

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What life is like now

Long road at sunset.

When your pet dies, everything changes. Your morning routine, your shopping lists, the space in your bed. The void that creeps into your life and the hole you can’t seem to fill in your heart is your new normal. When will it get better? Will it get better? How can I ever bring another pet into my life? Could I have done something more? These are all normal and common thoughts. The answers, however, can be hard to find. You may not be ready for another pet, and that’s okay. If you are ready, you are not replacing your beloved lost dog or cat. The hole they left in your heart will not be fully filled by another furry friend, but rather healed a bit-the edges of that hole will be a little less torn and jagged. Take your time and grieve, cry, yell.

Reach out for support.

You are not alone.

Posted in Grieving the loss of a pet | 4 Comments

Do pets grieve the loss of their animal friends?

 

DaisyDo pets grieve the loss of their animal friends?

Owners of multiple pets know that these furry “siblings” share a special bond with one another. They romp around the backyard and snuggle up together on the couch, but do they grieve for another? It’s an important question when you are considering how the death of a beloved pet will impact your family and how best to support not only your human, but your animal family members.

We recently spoke with a client whose family had two dogs.  Sadly, when one of their beloved dogs had to be euthanized in a clinic, the other dog seemed to experience a profound grief.  In fact, this client reported that her dog was forever altered from the experience of losing her friend and simply was different from that point on.  The two dogs had their toys in a basket and part of their “after work” routine was to go outside, have supper, and play with their toys together.  “She didn’t play with her toys for two years after the death of (her friend),” her person reported.  Now her friends’ ashes are buried in the yard, and when she is out there, she lays on his gravesite.  When it came time to euthanize another one of her dogs, this client decided on in-home euthanasia because she felt that it was important for her dogs to know, firsthand, what had happened to their beloved friend.

Although animal emotions are challenging to study, some evidence shows that humans aren’t the only creatures to grieve the passing of a loved one. Mark Bekoff, former professor of ecology and evolutionary biology at the University of Colorado, Boulder and author of The Emotional Lives of Animals, cites examples of animals displaying grief in the wild while mourning lost companions. He explains that, “categorically denying emotions to animals because they cannot be studied directly does not constitute a reasonable argument against their existence…current interdisciplinary research provides compelling evidence that many animals experience such emotions as joy, fear, love, despair, and grief – we are not alone.”

Some animal behaviorists report working with pets in their practices whose animal companions have died and whom appear to be grieving that loss.  Those pets sometimes manifest their grief in the following ways:  decreased appetite, changes in activity (increase or decrease), increased soliciting of attention from their family, separation anxiety, increased vocalization, and increased sensitivity to noises.

One of the positive aspects about having a pet euthanized at home is that their animal friends can be with them.  Sometimes, when a pet is euthanized in a clinic setting, it can be confusing for their animal family members, who may not understand what has happened to their loved one.  Your pets have their own individual personalities and sensitivities, and you know them better than anyone else – it is up to you to determine how much to include your furry family members in a euthanasia appointment.  Sometimes it is helpful to animal companions to have a moment to visit with their friends’ body – they have their own way of sensing what has happened to their friend and their own way of saying goodbye. The grieving process is very personal, and each pet may grieve the loss of their companion differently, just like each person grieves differently. It’s ok for your pet to act differently for a while after the loss of their companion. Keeping to normal routines, such as walks, playtime, and meal times, is a good way of supporting grieving pets. Some pets may also appreciate extra cuddles and one-on-one time after a loss…and you may appreciate that too as you support one another through the grieving process.

For further reading:

Mark Bekoff writes a blog for psychology today called “grief in animals”: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/animal-emotions/200910/grief-in-animals-its-arrogant-think-were-the-only-animals-who-mourn?page=2

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Coping With Grief During the Holidays

MN Pets

For many people, the holidays are a time spent with our loved ones, celebrating our relationships and togetherness. When you have lost a family member, including a beloved pet, the holidays can magnify your sense of loss. Suddenly, the merriment and celebration around us can make us feel even more alone.  Coping with the loss of someone you love can make even the most mundane times feel overwhelming. The added expectations of the holiday seasons can make it feel impossible.

Take time to grieve
Grieving is a formidable task, and it is normal to want to avoid it and the pain it brings. We often try to do this by keeping busy, which is easy to do during the holidays. Remember that you don’t have to attend every celebration or accomplish every task on your holiday to do list. The simplest way to remember your pet is to simply take a moment from the speed of life, sit quietly, remember your time together, and give yourself permission to grieve. Often what happens from taking that time out is that your imagination and creativity bring ideas for how to remember your pet in other ways, or how to include others in this process.  Here are a few ideas:

  • Telling the Story
    Invite friends and family members to share their stories of the pet you all loved.  Our lives with animals are filled with routines. Often there is a well-worn path where you went for walks with your dog or a favorite radiator or window sill where your cat loved to nap. Revisiting these places provides an opportunity to recall and verbalize memories of your animal. Remember that crying is a natural outlet of grief and that tears are okay. Telling our stories and revisiting our best memories can be healing.
  • Make an Offering
    It is traditional to create a special place to make an offering in memory of a deceased loved one. Our family has Christmas stockings for our animals which we put up with the rest of the family’s. Sadly, our beloved Tex died several years ago.  That Christmas it seemed natural to put her stocking up. What surprised us was when family and friends gathered on Christmas day, folks spontaneously used the stocking to make offerings of treats, toys (a small wadded up ball of tin foil and the twist off cap of a bottle of sparkling water… both Tex favorites), and even small notes. The stocking provided a focus for people to privately sift through personal memories and then choose an object that represented their relationship with Tex.

One could take that idea in a variety of directions. It could be as simple as looking through photographs and choosing one to display and lighting a votive candle next to it in remembrance or collecting some craft materials in a place where family members could make a memorial ornament.

  • Give to a local charity
    A traditional gesture is to make a holiday donation to an animal charity organization in your pet’s name. Perhaps your pet’s veterinarian has a companion animal fund that was established to help less financially fortunate families afford veterinary care for an ailing pet. Of course, your local animal shelter will always put your donation to good use. Or you could create a small cozy quilt to donate to a shelter for use in keeping animals without homes comfortable.

 

Grief and Children
Children are highly sensitive people.  They can sense when something is amiss, and they know when you are sad. It is important for children to be included in memorializing pets.  Children do very well with simple, honest language about death. Frequently children have lingering and mistaken impressions of death, especially if language like “put down” or “put to sleep” were used to describe a death or euthanasia. Memorialization sometimes brings up these misconceptions and it can be an opportunity to bring more clarity to the subject.

As daunting as it may feel to allow the process of grieving into our holiday, doing so is a gift to yourself and your family members. Always remember that you are not alone, and don’t be afraid to ask for help if you’re struggling with grief during this time of year. Our counselors at MN Pets are available if you need someone to talk to and can be reached at 612-354-8500. There is no right or wrong way to spend the holidays after losing a beloved pet; give yourself space to grieve and celebrate the unconditional love our pets give us.

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Leaky Plumbing: Dealing with Incontinence in Dogs and Cats

MN Pets

Brewer

By Katie Anderson

Incontinence can be one of the most frustrating conditions that pet owners face. Many elderly, once house-broken dogs and cats develop some form of incontinence, from leaking a small amount of urine when they sleep to being completely unable to control the release of all urine or feces. Although stepping in a wet puddle or seeing urine drip are the most obvious signs of incontinence, owners may also notice their pet excessively licking the vulva or penis area. Pet parents may also notice small wet spots or an offensive smell to their pet’s bedding after it becomes contaminated with urine.

A number of different conditions can lead to incontinence in elderly pets. Your veterinarian can diagnose the cause of urinary incontinence with a physical exam and a few basic tests. He or she will likely perform a urinalysis to look for a bacterial infection or the presence of bladder stones. X-rays of the urinary tract can also diagnose any abnormalities in your dog’s plumbing system. Finally, a number of different blood tests can be run to look for underlying diseases and kidney damage. Depending on the cause of your dog’s incontinence, different treatments can be used to manage this condition.

Here are some of the more common causes and treatments of incontinence:

  • Hormone responsive urinary incontinence: this is a disease of neutered and spayed dogs, particularly females, caused by a lack of sex hormones. The muscles that hold urine in the bladder become progressively weaker over time, leading to urine leakage, particularly when the pet is sleeping or lying down. Most dogs with this type of incontinence respond well to medications which tighten sphincter muscles, such as phenylpropanolamine (PPA) or diethylstilbestrol (an estrogen product). For dogs that do not respond to medication, surgical options include collagen injections into the sphincter muscles or placing a constricting ring at the site of the sphincter.
  • Overflow urinary incontinence: A number of diseases and medications can cause increased thirst in elderly pets, and the more water your pet consumes, the more urine is produced. This means that your pet’s bladder becomes maximally distended, especially at night when your pet spends long hours sleeping. Bladder distension can override the sphincter muscles and lead to urine leakage. Common causes of increased thirst include kidney and liver dysfunction and endocrine diseases such as Cushing’s, Addison’s, and diabetes. By identifying and treating the underlying cause of your pet’s thirst, you can often correct the incontinence. If your pet seems to be drinking more water, asking to go outside more frequently, or producing large volumes of urine in the litter box, see your veterinarian for further testing. Even if your pet is drinking more water, you should NEVER limit your pet’s water intake, as this can lead to serious complications in pets with any of the above diseases.
  • Neurological diseases: Diseases within the brain or spinal cord can interfere with the signals needed to control normal urination and defecation. Pets with neurological disease often display other symptoms, such as hind leg weakness or tremors. Therapy for this type of incontinence depends on the underlying disease.
  • Sphincter abnormalities: Defects in the urethral or colonic sphincters can cause either urinary or fecal incontinence in pets. These abnormalities may include bladder/urethral stones, prostate gland disease, tumors, or infection/abscess of the anal glands. Again, therapy for this type of incontinence depends on the underlying disease.
  • Senility: Some elderly pets simply become unaware that they are dribbling urine or forget their housetraining. Unfortunately there is no treatment or cure for this condition, and our focus turns to managing incontinence at home.

Although incontinence can be distressing for both owners and pets, it can be managed at home through a number of different strategies. These include:

  • Pet diapers or belly bands: these can be purchased at pet stores, or you can make your own belly band using fabric, Velcro closures, and sanitary pads. When using diapers or belly bands, be sure to change them regularly and keep your pet’s skin as clean as possible using soap and water or Baby wipes. If your pet’s skin becomes irritated, aloe vera gel or Preparation H can be used to soothe the area. Always use non-toxic products as your pet may lick them off and never use any products containing zinc, such as diaper rash ointments.
  • Waterproof pads or beds can be used to protect your pet’s sleeping spot. Remember to change or launder soiled blankets or towels frequently.
  • Frequent walks or trips outside, especially after sleeping, can help dogs with overflow incontinence. For cats, ensure that the litter box is in an easily accessible location, close to where your pet sleeps.

In many elderly pets, incontinence can be a sign of underlying disease or discomfort, so it’s important to consult your veterinarian and pursue diagnostic testing.

 

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What to do before a MN Pets appointment

You’ve scheduled the appointment for a MN Pets veterinarian to come to your home to help your pet, but aren’t quite sure what to do with your remaining time together. We have found that the time in between scheduling the appointment and when the doctor arrives can be a difficult one. What should you do? How can you prepare? Be it hours or days, this can be a unique time to bond with your pet and perhaps create some good memories. We have compiled a list of suggestions on what to do with your beloved pet during the time before your appointment.

  • Take pictures of your pet.  Taking special photos of your friend can be a wonderful way to remember them.  Some pets don’t look quite like themselves near the end of their lives, and you may not want to remember them this way.  An alternative would be to take a picture of their paws, a close up of their fur, or focus the camera on just one part of them, like their nose or whiskers.
  • Invite family or friends over.   Having those that love your pet come for a visit can be healing.  Many people invite loved ones over to say goodbye to their dear friend. Some families even choose to have an end of life celebration! It is also perfectly okay to have those closest to you at the appointment if you wish.
  • Give your pet a special treat.  This question comes up a lot for us-there is a special treat that their pet loves, but normally can’t indulge in on a regular basis. Can they have that special treat before their appointment?  Absolutely. However, it’s usually best to stay away from really greasy, heavy foods (like bacon or other processed meats) before the appointment, as they can upset the pet’s stomach and make them uncomfortable.
  • Go for a ride in the car.  If your pet enjoys car rides, taking them for a ride in the car may be something to consider.  Perhaps a short walk in their favorite park, or even just driving to an open area to sit outdoors and enjoy the fresh air.
  • Write a letter to your pet.  At times it’s hard to say what we are feeling, even to our pets.  We find it can be helpful to write down what you are feeling in a letter to your furry friend.  The letter can be read out loud to your pet, framed next to a favorite picture, or you can choose to send the letter along with your pet to their final resting place.  Your pet will benefit from the sound of your voice if you read it out loud, and you will likely feel comfort in knowing that you were able to share your feelings with your dear friend.
  • Take a nap.  Your pet may be sleeping more than they used to.  This can be a great opportunity to snuggle up with them and nap side by side.  It is likely that you need some rest, too.
  • Decide where you’d like the appointment to take place and the overall feeling for the visit that you desire.  Know that our doctors will bring all of the supplies they need for your pet’s appointment. Many people find that having their pet lie in their favorite bed, on the couch, outside, or even in the human’s bed for the appointment is comforting.  This is the time to decide on the environment that you would like for the appointment.  Some people choose to light candles, have soft music playing, include flowers or essential oils, or read a poem.  Others choose to incorporate cultural or religious beliefs into the visit.  Our doctors are comfortable with however you would like the visit to feel, and this is an added benefit to having the appointment in your home.

No matter what you decide to do in the time before your appointment with us, we hope that you take comfort in knowing that you are helping your pet in the kindest way possible.

 

 

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Lumps and Bumps in Dogs and Cats

Dog on couchYou’re cuddled on the couch, petting your furry friend, and it happens: you feel a lump. Suddenly, your mind is racing with questions. Is it new? Is it growing? And worst of all, is it cancer? Maybe, but maybe not. There are a whole host of conditions that can cause lumps and bumps to appear on aging pets. Many of these conditions appear similar, and it can be difficult to tell them apart by appearance alone. Fortunately, a veterinary exam and a few simple tests can usually diagnose the problem. Your veterinarian may choose to perform a fine needle aspirate, which involves using a needle to remove a few cells from the lump and examining them under a microscope, or a biopsy, which involves either removing a small piece of the lump or the entire mass for further evaluation. Listed below are some of the most commonly diagnosed lumps and bumps:

Non-cancerous lumps in pets:

These are often caused by infections or allergic reactions and can be cleared with medication or other treatments.

Sebaceous cysts: smooth, round  bumps (similar to a pimple) that are caused by a blocked oil gland in the skin and can be painful if they get large.

Warts (papillomas): small, cauliflower-like growths around the mouth caused by a viral infection, usually found in young dogs.

Abscess: a collection of pus under the skin caused by an infection following a bite or injury.

Tumors: A tumor is simply an abnormal growth of cells, and they can be benign or malignant (cancerous). Some malignant tumors can spread throughout the body and endanger the life of your pet. They are often treated with surgery, radiation, and/or chemotherapy. Benign tumors typically do not spread and surgical removal may not be necessary unless they are in a location that bothers your pet.

Common benign tumors in pets:

Lipomas: soft, movable tumors formed from fat tissue under the skin. They are very common in older dogs, particularly in overweight, large breed females and are usually no surgically removed unless they are causing a problem.

Skin tags and fibromas: hairless lumps that appear firm and rubbery. They may be on a small “stalk” off the skin.

Sebaceous gland hyperplasia (adenoma): small, pink, cauliflower-like (bumpy) mass on the skin surface usually found in older dogs, especially Cocker Spaniels.

Histiocytoma: a raised, pink, hairless mass typically found in dogs less than 2 years old that usually goes away on its own.  Also known as the “button” tumor.

Common malignant tumors in pets:

Malignant melanoma: a dark colored, often ulcerated tumor commonly found around the lips or nail bed.

Mast cell tumors: varied appearance, often small and soft. These tumors may remain small for long periods of time before suddenly growing rapidly.

Lymphoma: raised plaques or red patches on the skin, often accompanied by flaky skin or hair loss.

Squamous cell carcinoma: white plaques on the skin that may bleed or be red and ulcerated.  Usually found on areas with minimal hair and lightly pigmented.

Anal sac apocrine gland tumors: firm masses located in the anal glands on the buttocks.

Of course, this is not an extensive list, and many other diseases and cancers can cause lumps on the skin of aging pets. The best thing to do when you notice a new lump is to schedule a visit with your veterinarian. If the lump appears to be growing rapidly, is red, swollen, or painful, or is filled with pus, schedule that appointment even sooner. Whether the lump is simply a cosmetic nuisance or a dangerous disease, your veterinarian can advise you on the best course of action.

As always, we are here to support you. If there is a topic that you would like us to help you explore, let us know!

 

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